


I Never Meant to Tell You This

by SoonASaturday



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, One Shot, Soliloquy, recreation of the grave speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 22:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoonASaturday/pseuds/SoonASaturday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has something to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Meant to Tell You This

I never meant to tell you this,

but I guess we ran out of time,

so I will just tell you the

truth.

I-

I cared about you.

Maybe even more than I care about myself.

You were the best man I've ever known.

You were real and you...

You were true.

It's still really cold here in London,

but everything was better with...

with your rants and your violin.

I guess.

No.

I _know._

I miss every-

_everything_ about you.

Your energy and the glimmer in your eyes

and I don't know how you do it,

but you were so patient with me.

Every single bloody case.

I couldn't catch up with your perfect Sherlock limbs

so you took my hand

and you bloody _held me_ by your side.

Uh...

Although I never really figured out

why you decided to leave so early.

I don't have any idea how to say it,

but I really wish you stayed.

Because I-

I really fucking-

I would really fucking do anything to have you here right now.

...

You were a brilliant actor as well.

You were not a fake.

Not to me.

And just so you know,

what Mycroft said was true.

I miss the battlefield.

And you brought it back to me.

We loved the race and the blood pumping

through our veins.

Adrenaline addicts.

I've seen people die, friends of mine.

And I thought I would never sleep again.

I'm sorry.

...

I miss your voice and your complaining

and I even miss the heads in the fridge and the fingers in the sink.

Your presence inside me, filling me.

Painfully so, but it was good.

Always good.

This might seem stupid so if you are out there some-

somewhere where I can't find you,

I hope you're happy and I just want you to know that

I-

I've always-

Sod it.

It's over.

I just really

really

miss

_you.  
_

 

Do this. Do it just for me.

Please.

_Don't... be...  
_

_dead.  
_

_Come home.  
_

_I... love you.  
_


End file.
